I know many people, both male and female, that are friends with both sexes. Many of them have known their friends from the opposite sex for many years, such as since high school or college, and can actually say they are strictly friends and have never had a romantic relationship with them. I for one have not had a male friend since junior high school and even then, my male friends were always trying to smack my butt so it was a little awkward at times.
I no longer talk to those young men, and have not since then been able to have a male friend whose intentions are not to be more than friends. I must admit I am jealous of the women & men I know that have the opposite sex friends because I want one of my own. I have went out with men and had great conversations and thought that they understood that I was not looking for anything other than a friend, but somehow some way, they always seem to go too far and not get the point and then fall off the face of the earth when I let them know that I'm not interested in anything more than friends.
I do not understand what it is about me and why I cannot have a male friend who just cares about me as a person and does not look at me in a sexual way. I have been told "well you're a pretty woman so what do you expect?" Ummmmm, well I expect a man to understand that just because I may be attractive to them there's more to me that my looks. How about the loyal friend that I am, that I am smart and can carry an intellectual conversation with you about anything from fashion to politics. What about the fact that I'm goofy and love to crack jokes and laugh and have a good time. I'm a very free spirited person and just like to enjoy life. Why can't they see those things?
I have asked men before do they think we can just be friends, only to get a response of "No I don't need any more friends, I have enough friends already." And then not hearing from them again when they finally realize that I'm not giving up the goods and really just trying to be friends. I guess they weren't “friend material’ anyway if they pulled the disappearing act. I don't mean to sound like I'm complaining like “poor me I can't find a male friend.” I know it’s not the worst thing that can happen to me, but it is something that seriously bothers me at time. I want to hear a male's perspective of my relationships or my life and a male who will give me genuine advice that's not going to be to his advantage.
So here's the question....Can women and men really just be friends? I say in certain situations yes, as I've seen it with my own eyes, but have yet to experienced it myself. Is it only certain women and men who can have a friend of the opposite sex? Some more questions I ask myself are: Will I ever have a male friend who's not trying to sleep with me or should I just give up and realize that my only male best friend might end up being my future husband?
Maybe I'm worrying about nothing, but then again I think it's healthy to have both male and female friends to even out the emotions and rational thinking. I will refuse to give up because I want to believe that there are some good men with good intentions out there and I will remain determined to find a male bestie even if he ends up being a male that I will have to fight over men with! J
Smooches,
Bella
No comments:
Post a Comment